2023 Lenten Devotional-Ash Wednesday
By Izzy Alvaran
As I do my daily morning walk around my neighborhood, I notice more and more people are clearing and weeding their yards in preparation for planting spring flowers. I also hear in the news that winter is still in full swing in other states with snow in the forecast. There is still a chill in the air, yet there are more and more days when the sun is shining brightly bringing warmth. This liminal in-between time when we are bundled up in the cold with eager anticipation of springtime reminds of me this Lenten season in the life of the church.
Ash Wednesday ushers in 40 days of Lent in our liturgical calendar. There are times I see Lent as somewhat the winter of our annual spiritual devotion, with melancholic meditation anticipating commemoration of the death of Jesus Christ. There are themes of contrition, of hearts broken in repentance. Sometimes, I must admit, that I do not have the luxury and privilege to indulge in such acts of sorrowfulness. As a gay person of color conscious of the homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and racism around me - in church and society, I need to survive and keep on moving.
Today I am invited to reflect, but also called to act. Where do I need to do some clearing and weeding in the clutter and muckiness of my life’s backyard? My penitence is not in empty words or silence, but in action. As I come out of winter into Lent, I look forward to spring and the Resurrection - of being edged out of the cold doldrums of stillness into the vibrant, moving warmth of life’s new expressions and colors.
Am I skipping Lent and jumping onto Easter? Certainly not. Our Lenten rituals invite us to introspection and repentance - but the kind that disturbs the soil of our spirits in order to cultivate it and get it ready for the seeds of hope to once again replenish our soul. Reflection and praxis need to go hand in hand, and what allows us to live into this dynamic is hope - hope that is borne by our faith that our actions will bear fruit.
Recently I visited the Philippines after having lived in the United States for almost 20 long years. While a part of me that never left just suddently reconnected and I felt right back at home, I cannot ignore the monumental changes that I experienced. At a restaurant I was in a line for the bathroom and struck a conversation with a young man. In the midst of our small talk - without any prompting - he told me he was bisexual. How odd, I thought, that a stranger would come out like that, and in the Philippines - no way. Then I suddenly remembered I was wearing a rainbow face mask! Ah, he saw a sign that I was an ally! I could not imagine that happening decades ago. Yet there God sent me an angel to remind me that while my queer heart’s hope might be tired and flagging, there is Resurrection hope. Change is coming.
With that realization, I asked myself what needs to be done for sprouting seeds of queer life to erupt and bloom? Before I left the Philippines, I met with leaders of a United Methodist youth group. Their local church had about 50 youth and young adults who wanted their UMYF chapter to become a Reconciling ministry - to affirm and support their LGBTQ+ members. This made my heart “strangely warmed” - to borrow the words of John Wesley. These young ones are tending their garden and caring for their queer siblings. In my conversation with them, I felt an assurance that our denomination’s Lenten season is about to burst into Easter. How long would it take is not known to me. But one thing was crystal clear. For someone who hates spoilers, I knew then how this story would end. It would be the Easter of their lives and consequently, that of their congregation - and of our whole church.
Start clearing and weeding my friends, and with hope anticipate new life to spring forth.
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Izzy Alvaran is a United Methodist elder from the Philippines Annual Conference. He is a resident of Berkeley, CA and currently appointed to serve as an organizer for Reconciling Ministries Network.