Gay Marriages: A Matter Of Pastoral Care

WASHINGTON, DC -- Within the last few days, thirteen gay and lesbian couples from Bethany United Methodist Church in San Francisco have been married. The church’s pastor, the Rev. Karen Oliveto, performed eight of the ceremonies and five took place at City Hall.

Oliveto reports that she feels “God working powerfully within her church and the city of San Francisco over these last several days.”

She also reports on being dismayed about some of the press coverage that these marriage ceremonies have been receiving. Much of the religious press, particularly the United Methodist press, has focused on whether these weddings violate church law as stated in the United Methodist Book of Discipline. Oliveto says that her actions stem from her commitment to offer “faithful pastoral care” to her parishioners. “An amazing opportunity has opened up to extend pastoral care to persons who have been denied the right to legally marry.” To focus only on church law is “to miss the heart of what is happening,” she says.

Oliveto has given contact information to the press so that they can interview church members about what these marriages mean to them as part of the Bethany UMC faith community. “The secular press has written some wonderful stories,” according to Oliveto. The United Methodist press, on the other hand, has “disregarded the human element of the story and has focused narrowly on church law,” according to Oliveto.

Approximately one half on the members of Bethany United Methodist Church are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. This mix has existed for at least a couple of decades. Oliveto characterizes her church as one which has been outspoken on a number of social justice issues and has often “taken great risks to be faithful to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.”

Oliveto refers to the weddings that have taken place within her congregation as “family values at their best.” When asked to describe what she means by this, she said that her understanding of traditional family values would include “couples coming together to publicly commit themselves to one another for life, love being deepened through this act of commitment, and family bonds being strengthened through the institution of marriage.”

The Rev. Kathryn Johnson, Executive Director of the Methodist Federation for Social Action, has expressed support for Oliveto and the Bethany UMC congregation. Johnson who attends a church in Washington, DC with several gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgender couples and their families says that she can just imagine the jubilation that must be present at Bethany UMC. “To be able to celebrate the weddings of so many longtime members who have been denied the right to marry up until this time must be remarkable,” said Johnson.

The Methodist Federation for Social Action, an independent network of United Methodists, has long been supportive of full inclusion for gay and lesbian persons within the church, including ordination and marriage. When asked about the matter of church law on the subject, Johnson stated that this will be discussed at the upcoming General Conference in Pittsburgh this spring.

Members of MFSA will be present at General Conference, according to Johnson “to advocate on a broad range of justice issues.” With respect to justice for sexual minorities, Johnson says that MFSA has submitted legislation that calls for the following sentence to be deleted from the United Methodist Book of Discipline: "Although we do not condone the practice of homosexuality and consider this practice incompatible with Christian teaching, we affirm that God's grace is available to all."

Added in its place would be: "Differences of opinion among faithful Christians regarding sexual orientation continue to deeply divide the church. We stand before God admitting that we have thus far been unable to reach common ground. As we continue to discern God's will together, we are united in declaring our understanding that God's grace is available to all."

After years of battling over this issue within the church, Johnson believes that the best course of action is to “admit that faithful Christians within the UMC do not agree.” In order to move forward and find solutions to this dilemma, Johnson says, “it’s time to lay down our weapons and honestly admit where we are. ”

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